


Realizations

by Lady_Funk



Series: Worry [2]
Category: Oxventure (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, Anxiety, Dob is figuring stuff out, M/M, bless him he’s not that bright, merilwen is a good friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:00:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25196578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Funk/pseuds/Lady_Funk
Summary: After his outburst, Dob faces down what it all meant.
Relationships: Dob/Egbert
Series: Worry [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1825309
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30





	Realizations

It was a restless night. The ship seemed to rock more than usual, and Dob was used to falling asleep to the sound of Egbert snoring in the next room over. Tonight was eerily silent. 

On top of that, judging from the lamplight that poured through the floorboards from above Dob’s room, Corazón was awake. Every so often he’d hear a quill scratch on parchment, or a boot sole tap fervently on the floor, mirroring his own agitation. 

Dob wasn’t surprised that he couldn’t sleep. He’d managed a fitful hour or so right after he lay down, but something he couldn’t explain had woken him and he’d been up ever since. White-hot adrenaline coursed through his veins, settling uneasily in his throat. He swallowed thickly as if to clear it. 

He didn’t want to think. He wanted his anxiety-riddled brain to empty and let him rest, but the short yet insistent tugging at his psyche refused to let it. One thought had pervaded all day, and if he was honest, for weeks now. He was terrified to even think it, let alone vocalize it. Especially now. He felt fragile enough already and this kind of thing certainly wouldn’t help. 

Tears fell down his cheeks, no emotion behind it, just water. He blinked blearily. His gaze settled on the desk across from his bed where one of Egbert’s bombs sat. Annoyance flared up where the anxiety had already nestled, and they mixed almost too perfectly. It made his stomach lurch. 

Egbert’s bomb. No Egbert. The stupid thing had the audacity to roll around on the desk, before falling and hitting the floor with a gentle thud. 

You didn’t have to be a musician to see the sickening poetry in it all, but unfortunately Dob both was and did. His lip curled not entirely against his will. 

For pity’s sake, he was so used to having Egbert around that he’d never even considered the fact that he might have ever disappeared, especially not like this. Of course, the adventuring group all had their own goals, and he supposed they’d eventually all go their separate ways, but he didn’t like to think about that. Where would Dob end up? Would Suzette want to live with him again? She was busy. They both had new lives, new responsibilities. He didn’t know where that left him. 

A strange thought forced its way into his head, for a fraction of a second. He wasn’t alone, his friends were with him, but they were bidding him farewell for the day and he was left alone with.....with.....

Hold on. 

Wait. 

What the hell?

Why on earth was he fantasizing about living with Egbert? Could he even call it a fantasy? He certainly didn’t consciously dream it up, and to his utter bewilderment and irritation he didn’t hate the idea. 

He didn’t want to dwell on it, but there it was again, that traitorous vision. Egbert was smiling at him, wrapping him up in his arms. He felt.....safe. 

What the hell was going on?

Shaken, he leapt to his feet. He paced his room briefly, wringing his hands together. He needed to clear his head. 

Against his better judgement, he went to find Corazón. 

~

He was right. Corazón was still up. Dob swung the door open (a rare enough occurrence, as he usually kicked them down), and found his friend leaning over a large map on the table. The ink in several places was fresh, and more than a bit had ended up on the table itself.

What Dob hadn’t anticipated, however, was that Merilwen was in the corner, as a cat, curled up on a cushion. She was watching Corazón write with what looked like concern on her feline face, but it was hard to tell. 

“You’re still up.” Corazón said, without looking up. It wasn’t a question. 

“Yeah,” Dob murmured. “I’m gonna need more of that rum, please, Corazón.”

Corazón looked up at him now, and raised an eyebrow. “More? Good god, Dob. Don’t tell me you’re still stressed out about—“

“Of course I’m stressed out! And so are you!” He swept his arm out towards the map. Corazón shrugged. 

“If anything I’m more stressed out now, because—“ He paused. He couldn’t tell Corazón. He’d never hear the end of it. Besides, he wasn’t even sure of what he’d discovered, if anything. It was too early to say, especially to Corazón. 

Dob’s gaze fell on Merilwen, who now was looking at him as well. Maybe.....

“Because what?” Corazón asked. 

“.....Because nothing. Don’t worry about it.” Dob could tell by the look on his face that Corazón hadn’t missed the hesitation in his answer. 

Corazón was clearly sizing him up, trying to figure out what the hell he was on about. Apparently he was unsuccessful, because he picked up the bottle of rum and passed it to Dob. “Go easy on it, mate. Don’t want you feeling it tomorrow.”

Dob nodded and gave him a weak smile. He turned and walked out onto the deck of the ship. His head swivelled briefly back towards the door. He considered heading back in there to apologize, but decided against it. Corazón probably didn’t want to hear it.

When turned back towards the deck, a wood elf was standing directly in front of him. 

“Hi, Merilwen,” he said. “Didn’t notice you followed me out.” 

“Cats are stealthy.” She said proudly. 

“Hey, uh.....I’m sorry for my outburst last night,” Dob said, fiddling with the cork on the bottle. “I didn’t mean to curse at you guys.”

“It’s alright, I don’t mind, and I doubt anyone else did either.” Merilwen said. She arched an eyebrow. “You know how you can make it up to me?”

“How?”

“Spill.” She crossed her arms. “Clearly there’s more going on here. I’ve never seen you that upset.”

“Ah, crap....” Dob muttered. He rubbed the back of his neck. Despite the icy breeze, he felt his face heat up. “Uh, look, I’m not even sure what’s going on, exactly, and even if I did, I mean......uh......” He was rambling. That tended to happen. He noticed it when he was stalling for time with enemies or trying to persuade someone. He talked in circles, like a verbal freight train. Merilwen hadn’t moved. She was waiting for him to be done. Damn. 

“Look, you can’t tell anyone.” Dob finished. 

“Not a soul.” Merilwen said. Dob could hear a laugh in her voice. That wasn’t too reassuring. 

Dob inhaled sharply, took a swig of the rum, and spoke.

“......I think I’m in love with Egbert.” Dob winced, dreading her response. 

Merilwen’s face split into a huge smile, but it didn’t look mocking. “I knew it!” She cried. 

“Shhhh,” Dob hissed, hastily throwing his hands out in front of him. “What do you mean you knew it? How?!”

“Come on, Dob,” Merilwen laughed. “You go out of your way to heal him, there was that time you insisted on holding his hand in the seance, the toboggan down the mountain, you even said you were in love with him directly to those cultists.....” 

“I thought I was just going along with the ruse!”

“You insisted on checking up on him when we went to see his old Order, _you let him stab you in the hand_.....”

She went on and on, and Dob grew increasingly concerned with every example. “How did you notice all this?” Dob gasped. “Do you think the others know?”

Merilwen shook her head. “Corazón’s too high on himself to make any observations about you two, Prudence doesn’t care, and Egbert? C’mon, mate.” Merilwen smirked, then said softly, “You should tell him.”

Dob’s eyes grew wide and panic gripped him. “No way. No way in hell. I’m taking this to my grave.”

“Oh come on, Dob, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“He could hate me? It could tear apart this whole guild? Things would be awkward and good lord Corazón and Prudence would never let me hear the end of it—“

“Or,” Merilwen interjected. “Maybe he likes you back.”

Dob felt his face heat up again and realized with irritation that he was probably blushing. Merilwen’s giggle confirmed it. “No. That’s impossible. Why would he?”

“You never know.” Merilwen said in a singsong voice. 

Dob snorted. “Sure.” 

He felt the tension leave his shoulders. He rubbed his face and took another drink. “We’ve gotta get him back.”

Merilwen smiled sadly. “I know. We will.” She patted Dob’s back reassuringly, though it didn’t succeed all that much. 

“It’s such a big world. Who knows where Leliana took him.” He muttered. 

“We’ll find him. We’re not leaving anyone behind.” She wrapped an arm around his back and leaned her head on his elbow. 

A lump formed in his throat, and Dob could feel the tears gathering behind his heavy eyelids. The salty air certainly wasn’t helping. Dammit. He wasn’t going to cry in front of Merilwen. He couldn’t. He was stronger than this. Fight it. He had to fight it. 

Merilwen started to hum softly, and it was like a dam broke. Dob couldn’t hold it back anymore. He hated this. He hated crying. He didn’t want to. But cry he did, sobbing louder than he’d meant to, uglier than he hoped. 

Merilwen hummed all the way. She didn’t say a word, didn’t judge him at all. Just sang softly to him, in Elvish, he guessed. It was nice. Comforting. Nobody had sang to him since Suzette, years ago. He sobbed harder. 

They stayed there like that for about an hour, but it felt like fifteen minutes to Dob. After a while Merilwen’s voice got tired, so she just held him as he cried and spilled his guts. He blubbered about his childhood, and Suzette, and his illness, and Egbert, and how much he hated blubbering. He must’ve apologized a dozen times. The rum didn’t help. 

After he’d run out of tears, he thanked Merilwen and bid her goodnight. He needed to sleep off the rum and he was exhausted anyway. 

Falling into his normally-stiff cot felt like plunging into a cloud. He clutched his pillow and let out a long, weary breath. 

Dob wasn’t a religious man, but he found himself praying, to Le Vache Mauve, to Cthulhu, to whoever was listening. 

If they got Egbert back safely, he’d be eternally grateful. 

Hell, he might even tell him how he feels.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to a-casual-egg on Tumblr for the various Dob/Egbert examples Merilwen lists off. I couldn’t remember any good ones.


End file.
